Busy bee

Nobody said it was easy;
No one ever said it would be this hard

I just love how much of a busy bee I’ve become; I mainly write during my 45-minute bus-rides to and from Helsinki. And here I am again, writing as the sun sets and as my thighs throb against the seat from a super-exhausting but amazing three-hour dance lesson.

I doubled my dosage on my new meds, Lamotrigin, from 25 mg to 50 mg last Wednesday as guided by my doctor. The pills taste icky. They’re the kind you let melt in your mouth or chew. One was okay but with two the taste stings my tongue. I’ve been having a bit more of generally-good days this past week, though I’ve had a few anxiety attacks. I forgot my meds yesterday morning and was wondering why I was developing a terrible anxiety attack and crying fit at dance class. Then I had a light-bulb realization. I told my teacher and she got really worried as I was just crying and crying. I made it home safe though, and took my meds and took it easy for the rest of the day.

I’m starting at the Day Ward next Monday. I’m nervous. Very, very nervous. I did not get a very good first impression of my ward doctor and nurse, so I’m worried it’ll be a waste of time. But I’m trying to keep an open mind. Attitude is key, right?

Almost home now.
I’m so hungry.

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