Refresh

Render the unimaginably
Tender shift of
Balance—
Left-right step
03:15 in the AM,
It passes, and surely
I’m not awake
 
Make no mistake,
When the one meets
The nine—
The double number
Refreshes wounds
 
And though cold,
It soothes the
Erratic nerve-change
Intermittent in gear,
Last little speck of
Fear rising up
From the sheets
 
Evidence of the
More-or-less real
Affection that created
What it is to be me
Interchanging biologic
Scenery—
 
And sometimes I wish
I had left the womb
Early—
Gentle death by nature
No more numbers or
Double numbers, just
A clock
 
And a green-and-white
Nurse flock around
My Momma’s belly
 
And should the final
Push have choked me
On the cord tied
Around my neck—
I guess I could be
A cloud, weekly bound
To the rain
 
And on the First of
September I’d
Smile and cry
The name I never
 
Received—
From religion
In which I never
Believed,
 
My last moments
Merely scientific
Devotion—
Swift with emotion
As I left.
 
But of course,
Reality isn’t as
Gentle as clouds
Gassed from funeral
Fumes—
Silly tunes
 
They thought
I would like—
Bare-foot
And bare-mind in
The cot.
 
I’ll hit refresh
And throw the
Potatoes back in the
Pot—
Too hard for memory,
 
Too hard for my
Mouth—
And without a sound
I’ll return to what it
Is now, when somehow
I am of the living.

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15 kommenttia artikkeliin ”Refresh

  1. Phew… this is deep. Filled with real and raw emotions. Sad when someone thinks it may have been better if they had died at birth. This is so vivid and reminds me of the times I've had insomnia and clock watched half the night too.
    A truly gripping read.

    Tykkää

  2. You succeeded in working the words in masterfully and making the reader (me) feel deeply. Intense, dark, AND strong writing.

    Tykkää

  3. Wow- Lovely, profound… I especially like:

    And should the final

    Push have choked me

    On the cord tied

    Around my neck—

    I guess I could be

    A cloud, weekly bound

    To the rain

    Tykkää

  4. Ohmigosh… I got lost entirely in your words. They wound their way through me until I forgot where I was, sitting here at a computer, mesmerized. Beautiful and soulful. I LOVE THIS PIECE!

    Tykkää

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